One of Wee Waa’s favourite couples Helen and Bert Wenner recently celebrated their 25th wedding anniversary.
It’s an occasion many thought might never happen because a young Helen Murray constantly said ‘no’ whenever her then boyfriend Bert asked her to marry him, and he asked on numerous occasions.
“Bert kept asking me all the time about getting married and I just said ‘no’,” Helen explained in an interview with The Courier.
“I just thought – it’s only a piece of paper.”
“Well, she ended up asking me,” added Bert with a laugh.
In 1994, 16 years after the couple first met, Helen Murray decided it was ‘the right time’ to make Bert her husband.
“My Mum used to say to me, ‘Don’t let this fella go past because he’s a good man’.
“That’s what you do in a relationship, you get the mother-in-law on your side,” added Bert.
“People twisted my arm and we’d been together for so long and I just thought – ‘let’s get married’,” said Helen.
“My Mum and Dad were still here and they’re no longer with us so I’m glad we did do it.”
Helen planned her proposal and wedding with a group of girlfriends who she used to meet with for coffee every week.
“Helen came home from one of their meetings and told me, ‘We are getting married’,” said Bert.
“They (Helen and her friends) always came up with great ideas like Christmas in July, parties and carnivals for the kids. Well they ran out of ideas so they thought a wedding or two would get rid of the boredom,” he added.
Helen and Bert were married in a double wedding ceremony with two friends on November 12, 1994 at a Wee Waa cotton farm named ‘Lammermoor’.
And 25 years later, the Wenners marked their momentous wedding day with forty guests at a fabulous dinner party, held at the Narrabri RSL Club on Saturday November 2, 2019.
“It was an amazing night,” said Helen.
“It was so pleasing to see all the faces from days gone by and all the people who travelled a great distance.
“It was overwhelming.”
“The celebration was great,” said Bert.
“I liked it because there was a lot of the people there that we might see every day but we don’t stop to talk to.”
Bert made a heartfelt and entertaining speech at the anniversary dinner describing the first time he caught a glimpse of Helen.
“Her nice long black hair, beautiful smile and a Mickey Mouse jumper.
“Anybody that wears a Mickey Mouse jumper has got to be alright,” said Bert.
“We talked, laughed and became friends until I decided it was time to speed this relationship up a bit,” Bert recalled.
However, Bert’s persistence and patience would be tested from the beginning when it came to actually landing that ‘first date’ with Helen.
In fact when he did finally lock in a night out at the drive-in, Helen brought seven of her sisters along too.
Although it might’ve seemed like she was ‘playing hard to get’, Helen said she was impressed with Bert from the very first time they met at a pub in Wee Waa.
“I felt that he was a very polite and a nice person, like somebody that you would want to take home to meet your mum,” said Helen.
“And my Mum loved him.”
Helen and Bert might seem like an unlikely pair: Helen is a proud Gamilaraay woman who grew up at Tulladunna, just outside Wee Waa and Bert is born in Germany originally.
“We come from different backgrounds but it works pretty well,” said Bert.
“We lived in a high storey apartment house in Germany not under a tree (at Tulladunna) but the lack of money was the same because my father was a coal miner and that didn’t get much money in those days.”
When Bert was 14, his parents moved to Australia seeking a better life and more job opportunities.
Bert said they nearly moved to Canada, but lucky for Helen, Bert’s father got a job on a cotton farm in Wee Waa.
“During the school holidays I would always go picking with him,” said Bert.
Bert has followed in his father’s footsteps and works in the cotton industry. He’s worked for the Kahl family’s Merced Farming for 36 years.
Helen is the much-loved Aboriginal Education Officer at Wee Waa High School.
The couple met in the Cotton Capital and it’s also where they chose to raise their family.
“The best thing about the anniversary night was having the two kids there – Peter and Antoinette,” said Helen who was also thrilled three of her six grandchildren could make the event.
“It would’ve been really hard if one of them wasn’t there.”
During his anniversary dinner speech, Bert spoke about the couple’s first child Anthony who tragically died when he was just four-years-old.
“Helen will be down sometimes, I’ll be down sometimes and we just pick each other up,” said Bert.
Helen said that sharing the unimaginable pain of losing a son has brought her and Bert closer together.
“I think cause we went through that turmoil and difficult time with my son, and I think that kept us together,” said Helen.
“We believed that nothing could tear us apart.
“More than anything, I am glad we married because I couldn’t see myself without Bert because I always said that my Mum was my rock and I think Bert’s the person that has filled up that place.”
Helen and Bert’s relationship is an enduring love story, reflected in the way Bert chose to finish his speech at the anniversary dinner – by asking Helen a question she’d heard a few times before.
“I wouldn’t change my life or love for Helen in any way. So I’m going to put her on the spot – would you marry me?”
This time Helen said ‘yes’ but in her own witty way did point out that that they were already married following ‘her’ marriage proposal in 1994.
