(With apologies to Banjo Paterson).

There was movement in the market for the word had passed around
all the toilet rolls were going to be sold!
So a run on toilet paper was the action to be found
by the frenzied shoppers gathered, young and old.
All the tried and noted outlets were fair game in this affray
as the ‘grab and go’ behaviour did unfold.
For a panic that a shortage could occur on any day
was a story no-one really knew who told?

There was Facebook at the ready, always eager to oblige,
with press and spokesmen keen to do their stuff.
And the melees soon unfolded for the toilet paper prize,
assaults in aisles were looking pretty rough.

Soon the shelves were bare and empty, not one roll to spare it seems,
some shoppers gloating over all they’d got.
But rooms stacked high with toilet rolls were bursting at the seams
and they started wondering when they use this lot?
Returning them for refund in the past might well have worked
but supermarkets sing a different song!
Right now it is in different times that we are living through
and the panic buying’s obviously wrong.
So the toilet paper’s rationed as it will be for a while,
while shelves in supermarkets still lie bare
With factories working round the clock, producing it in style
we should have all we need and some to spare!
But that hasn’t stopped the stupid frenzied buying it all up,
it seems some people cannot comprehend …
that Coronavirus, Covid-19 is a sort of FLU
and our problems if we catch it will be at the other end!

By Jacqui Warnock

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